Well, I'm two weeks into the first semester back in school, on the path that I'm supposed to be on, to study neuroscience, biochemistry, nutrition, and other subjects that will get me ready for school to be a doctor. In those first two weeks, I found myself visited by a familiar presence...the feeling of inadequacy that leads to a performance that is less than stellar, and unindicative of what my true potenial is that I know is in me. I'm going to change all of that this time though, today, I went to the student counseling center for my first visit which is the new client intake session to determine which therapist would be best for me to work with. I met with my new counselor, and my first appointment is set for next friday at noon. As I left the school today, I felt a sense of empowerment, that change was not only inevitable, but I am the conductor of such change. I am in a position to become the conductor of my life. I am writing the opus of my life. I can't undo past failures, and hopefully I'll be able to recapture the feelings of confidence from my past successes. It is in those feelings that the subconscious programming of being an underachiever will fully be eradicated and exorcised for once and for all.

I am doing this for two seperate but not exclusive reasons. One, I'm doing this for myself, and the future vision that has been given to me, in which I'm here to be a healer, an educator to those who wish to have the life that they dream of having, but are not sure what to do in order to have that life. I wish to learn, and master the healing arts, so when people come to me looking for the answers for their questions, solutions of their puzzles (not problems, by changing problems to puzzles, solutions are more readily found). I do it to bring clarity and certainty, into the lives of any and all I encounter. I've known people of such a presence, just by being around them, I couldn't help but feel more inspired, optimistic, energized, ALIVE. It is that presense I wish to bring to others, as others have for me, to pass it on and pay it forward.

The second is in a seperate post, the reason for that is it will be in the form of a letter to my future wife, whomever she is, where ever she is.