chaos reigns supreme, and in all honesty, i'm starting to like it

I used to want my ideal self to be superman-like and larger than life. This desire I believe stemmed from wanting to have an example of what being strong and confident looks like and not having one. I didn't have that, and wanted to be that kind of example for others like me that don't, or didn't have one as well. Now though, while I'm getting stronger in all that I know and learn, the real gains are coming in getting more comfortable and confident in not having a need to know everything. In fact, my therapist told me today during our session that I seem the most everyday like person compared to recent weeks. I hadn't thought of putting where I am in those terms, but it rings very true. I know what I know, and as I pay attention to decisions I once would make unknowingly out of fears of rejection, I have that moment of pause where I notice my choices and their motivating factors. It's been a rough three months since losing a job that I moved to be closer to, but when I lost that job, it opened the door for me to say yes to going back to school to study neurology, biochemistry, hopefully genetics, and maybe microbiology and other ology named subjects as I sort out myself, my life, and what ways I can best put all my experiences, both good and bad to good use for those going through anything similar, or just needing reassurance that they're okay, even if that's all they need. My strength in accepting the what is, is what will, according my counselor, and the way that thought resonated through my body physiologically, is what will help me be my ideal self...and that to me is absolutely awesome. I am so very grateful for that opportunity.